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Well, the rumors are swirling that former Seattle Seahawks and Green Bay packers head coach Mike “Big Show”Holmgren is being wined and dined in the city that rocks by Randy “Randy Baby” Lerner for the position of “Football Pimp”.

Toni Grossi claims he left Berea today without a deal. He knows this because no announcement has been made as of yet.

He did not know however whether the former Super Bowl Champion was on his way to the airport or downtown to sample Cleveland’s awesome night life (Too bad the casino’s aren’t up yet. Are you telling me this guy doesn’t look the Blackjack-all-night-hit-free-buffet-three-times-to-make-back-my-money kind a guy?).

Holmgren would instantly give the Browns credibility and much needed direction. Not to say that the current squad hasn’t shown progress of late, but Holmgrens been involved in football for more years than Mangini has been alive. (By the way, my current favorite nickname for Mangini? Linguini.)

Not to say there aren’t question marks, like the fact that Holmgren had his General Manager responsibilities taken away from him by the Seahawks, not that he would be G.M. here, just that he definetly will have a strong say organizationally. Let’s hope the reason he floundered in that role was that he already had a twenty-hour-a-day job, namely being head coach and all.

Also, what of Mangini? Sources say he’s going to get canned, victory over a flat Steelers team that quit notwithstanding. Hey, I’m one of Mangini’s biggest critics and even I admit to seeing progress over the last month.

But let’s not get carried away here. They came back against a Chargers team that was cruising in prevent mode and beat a Pittsburgh team that was already beaten by K.C. and Oakland.

Plus, you can’t forget that the roster is pretty bare, resulting in a lot of players who wouldn’t get a lick of playing time on any other roster seeing significant snaps. They know there is a new sheriff coming to town and they are auditioning for next year already. Naturally they are going to bust tail.

Bottom line, things continue to be interesting in Cleveland. Look for it to become more so as the offseason approaches.

And thank God Holmgren is no Bill Parcells. He would never be in Cleveland just to drive up the price for Seattle, right?

So what do you think Browns fans? Is this our man? Finally?

Stay tuned.

“Information” (if you could call it that) from the Cleveland Plain Dealer was used in this “report”.

* In the “Best Damn Browns Preview” and in Report: Browns RB “really sucks” Max Rage and I have gone to great lengths to prove to the jury that Jamal Lewis was worse at running the football than Steve Young was at giving color commentary. Wow were we wrong.

First Lewis ran like it was 2007, being decisive and showing a nice strong burst while finishing the day with eleven carries for fifty seven yards. Then Steve Young goes out and delivers a mute button breaking performance and a previously impossible I-can’t-believe-I’m-saying-this-but-I-wish-Tony-Kornheiser-was-here moment.

On a scale from believable(Ellen DeGeneres is a lesbian) to unbelievable(Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian) here’s how I rank this weeks events: Kameron Wimbley’s one sack, three quarterback hits and three tackle day( which, if your keeping score, is another guy I threw under the bus. My bad, Kamerion. Much love.); Drew Brees torching the Lions for six touchdowns( apparently their “mentors” didn’t do a good enough job); Kanye West berating Taylor Swift, thereby making a fool of himself; Jamal Lewis’s solid day; Kanye West on Jay Leno making a even bigger fool of himself (does he have a CD coming out?); the end of the Bengals-Broncos game(talk about hard knocks); the Pats comeback over the Bills, Dick Jauron’s face watching the Pats comeback over the Bills and Steve Young nails-scratching-against-a-chalkboard performance. Seriously, it was that unbelievably bad. But I digress. The bottom line is Jamal Lewis didn’t look half bad and James Davis either looked like a guy who just got concussed in a car accident or like a guy who faced NFL starters for the first time.

* After the game on Sunday was mercifully over I was gripped with a wave of depression as I made my way back to my car. “Why was I so depressed”, I kept on asking myself. It’s not like this was unexpected, right? Heck, we were even winning at halftime. So what was my problem?

On the way home it hit me like Hines Ward hitting Keith Rivers. I wasn’t bothered that special teams and penalties basically cost us the game after Mangini promised change and discipline. Change takes time, especially if you just spent the last four years playing pick up football with Romeo. Brady Quinn looked shaky at best but that wasn’t gnawing at me either. What really made my blood boil was the offensive coordinator and head coach playing not to lose. Nothing makes me lose my head more than that. You see, once you play not to lose the game is essentially over; you cannot win. Losing is inevitable; the only question is what the catalyst will be.

Take the first drive, after Brad Childress decides to give the Browns a gift at the fifty yard line and the Browns have been moving the ball on the ground and through the air. With momentum at their back on third and nine from the twenty one yard line, they decide the best move is to basically run it and take the three points. Seriously that’s what they did; that little shuffle pass gets you nine yards once every twenty times. The first drive of the season and they are already playing not to lose.I don’t care how inexperienced your QB is; if you can’t trust your quarterback in that situation than he should not be your in there. Consider this; Quinn did not throw a pass on third down until the fourth quarter.

Another thing that bothered me (which Mangini has subsequently apologized for) was the two straight runs out of the wildcat at the goal line. The first one was understandable; the second one unforgivable. No surprise, no wildcat. It’s that simple. I also felt there was a little lack of imagination offensively. Where were the screen passes? Why not try to get the ball to Cribbs in space, like the Vikings kept on doing with Harvin? “The Canadien Bull” has a lot of work to do.

* As for Brady Quinn, apparently he’s a work in progress, which is expected at this point of his career. Still, the dinking and dunking is really starting to grate on my nerves. From what I saw he definetly left some plays on the field and looked afraid to take a shot, which is a terrible trait for a quarterback to have. In the huddle he looked like a guy who tells his dying wife that everything is going to be okay but she’s knows the truth. His timing on his slants where way off and that “miscommunication” with Braylon is on him, not to mention his Garo Yepremian-esque fumble.

What’s that you say? I shouldn’t pass judgement after one game? I’m not, I just simply want to point out what we should be watching for in the next couple of weeks. By the way Eric, it might help if you show a little confidence in the kid and actually let him throw a pass on third down.

* Now the good news. My eyes popped out of my head when I saw the defense play. They played with fire and intensity. Rob Ryan called a great game, showing them a lot of different looks and blitzing plenty. Actual blitzing!

I felt like a father who’s kid becomes a doctor; could you imagine my Browns, after all these years of me asking, pleading, cajoling, screaming and even begging for a aggressive defense, finally they are making me proud and listening to me. It was surreal.

Didn’t you love the extensive use of the “46” defense? The corners played well considering they weren’t tested much. Kamerion Wimbley and Abe Elam had outstanding performances, especially in the first half. Even Brodney Pool, who has been comatose since his pick against the Giants last season added a sack and seemed to be around the ball. Besides for Adrian Peterson’s sixty four yard scamper (like a bad song you accidentally hear on the radio, I can’t get Chris Berman’s, “and there goes Peterson, Whoop! Whoop!” out of my head) the Browns defense mostly was victimized by shoddy special teams(I was speaking to Max Rage and he made a very good point. The person who could be single handedly the most responsible for the Browns losing on Sunday? Dave Zastudil.

Think about it. Zastudil’s terrible line drive punts were the main reason the the Vikings were able to get such big returns. Did I mention Max hates Zastudil?) and being on the field for too long more than any thing else.

Last year, the Browns had a pretty pithy slogan: The name on the door is Cleveland. What would the sloganbe if pithy still reigned in Berea this year? Browns Rant takes a stab.

1. AT LEAST WE DIDN’T FIRE OUR OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR . YET.

2. PROUD TO BE STAPH INFECTION FREE!!

3. 2008 N.Y. JETS WITHOUT BRETT FAVRE.

4. JAMAL LEWIS STILL GOT IT AND WE ADDED SHAUN ROGERS; WE’RE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!! ( Oops, that was last years)

5. CHICKS GO ABSOLUTELY CRAZY WHEN ERIC MANGINI SAYS “LETS KEEP THOSE INTERNAL.”

6. “WE’RE/ TOO SEXY FOR OUR BROWN PANTS/ TOO SEXY FOR OUR BROWN PANTS/ FROM NEW YORK…..”

7. AT LEAST LERNER DIDN’T HIRE DENNIS GREEN OR HERM EDWARDS. OR BOTH.

8. “WE WILL NOT CONFIRM OR DENY THE NAME ON THE DOOR.”

9. NEW WRINKLE THIS YEAR: GAMEPLANS!

10. WHERE BEATING PITTSBURGH FINALLY HAPPENS.